strawberryfair

Hello
I,ve been a member of this forum since 2010. I haven't psoted much at all but have read and visited every single day and got the strenght to go on from you lovely people.

When i first joined i couldn't carry on and received the best advice and support. Last Novemeber i left my A for myself but also for him, hoping this would help him seek recovery. Fast forward to July this year i went back to him and our dog because the dog needed major surgery and i wanted to be there to help. Things were pretty good, A was more or less not drinking except for one relaspe we were finding love again and having a life that was a bit normaler than what had been. We were close again and he was interacting with the family.

I came home the other day and found he'd hung himself, i cut him down but he was already dead, paramedics managed to revive him and he's been on life support all week until 1st sept when i made the decision to turn it off.

I so miss my lovely but feel he made the decision to end his life to rid himself of the day to day torment, guilt etc. running through his head. In the last few weeks he has been the clearest i've seen him in years. I beleive he also took the descision to put his family out of the misery that we all know alcoholism causes.

Thank you each and every one of you on these boards i would never have got through the last two years without you.

Goodnight my darling i will miss you so much after 26 years i loved you until the very end. Goodnight my love xxxxx

thanks for reading