If you honestly want to continue in recovery, you are going to have to be selfish. There is nothing in the world wrong with that. Putting your children and yourself first is the most important thing. Your husband is a grown man, not an 8 year old child who needs you to guide him. If he wants recovery, he'll do the same thing you did. If he isn't willing to do whatever it takes, then he doesn't want it badly enough.
Don't feel sorry for him. He had you to look toward as an example of someone who was in the depths of addiction and chose to claw her way out. He can do it too, but he has to want it more than anything else. If he doesn't, you don't need him around.