Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I want a relationship with trust, respect, honesty, and Christian values. Not getting that right now with AH. I'm so ready to ask for that separation, but I have to make sure that my HP is giving me the right signs and that my decision is in his will(Higher Power, not AH).
Did you ever have that kind of relationship with your husband?
In the last couple of weeks I have had a breakthrough. I had just shy of two years with my ex that were good, trusting and supportive. We got married just shy of two years of dating. Two weeks after that a binge helped me to understand that alcoholism was in my marriage. Yes there were concerns before, but I truly did not understand. I got an understanding then.
I spent the next five years trying to figure out how we lost our relationship and how to get it back. Though the problem drinking was not daily, my walking on eggshells was.
Then we separated just over two years ago, and I have spent a huge amount of time trying to figure out if he was okay, what I did wrong, how I could have made it better, etc.
2 good years should not equal almost 7 years of struggle. I never got honesty, trust and equality in my marriage, why have I spent 7 years trying to obtain something that was not there in the "honeymoon" stages?
It was a "Oh my god I shoulda had a V-8" moment coupled with relief that I might be able to let myself off the hook for all the problems in the relationship.
It is reasonable to want those things in a relationship...I think my question for you is though is it reasonable that he, you, and you and him can have that in YOUR relationship with each other? That is part of where I got off track.