He said, he would never want to hurt the kid's again, and making amend's/contacting them, would hurt them. So he stays away from them......Another "Lame" excuse in my eye's,
You know, when I did my 'first' Step 9 in my recovery from my alcoholism, I had a VERY LONG LIST of folks that I MUST make amends to.
I have to be honest, my children were the last one's on that list. When my sponsor and I talked about it, because she came right and asked me why they were last on my list, I had to tell her that I knew they were going to be the hardest ones to make and I needed time and experience before I went to them. She just nodded her head, lol
Well as I started to make my 'amends' their names quickly moved up my list ahead of others, and before I knew it I had them at the top of the list (maybe after i had made 2 or amends).
Yes, it is HIS recovery, and you know that, I know that, and others know that. However, I suspect, that if he is really serious about working a program of recovery and turning his life around, that those 'amends' to the kids will be made in the not to distant future. Just as I myself had so much trouble with my amends to those I had hurt the worst (my kids, my immediate family, etc) I have seen the same 'delays' happen with those I have sponsored.
I will pray that your Ex's HP helps him to do the next right thing.
And again, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,