Thank you so much for all of the wisdom and advice on my somewhat nebulous post...I've been reading all day, sober, and really taking all of your comments to heart. Although I've been struggling, I have more sober time than not these past months and I'm just looking forward to complete surrender. For me, this milestone is the reason I need to trick my AV for good.
It is an exhausting fight with my AV and I already feel him losing power. It just seems when I argue with him lately I just barely win-with this milestone to keep me focused I have the ammunition I feel I need to really, truly keep him less loud (as we all know, they never go silent!)
I'm truly grateful to all who read and responded. It helps to know that even when things don't seem to make sense they actually do to the folks here