Hi Liz, I am again going to recommend reading Under the Influence; it really is worth the couple bucks it costs on Amazon. These behaviors that you experience from him will make much more sense, as will the disease process itself.
As long as he is in this place, where everything he has to offer is 'woefully insufficient', he can justify drinking. Who wouldn't drink with a wife like that, right? He's so miserable and unhappy, of course he drinks to soothe his wounded ego and frazzled nerves, and also to calm down his libido because you won't sleep with him on top of this emotional abuse. And on top of all that - he got in trouble with the law for drinking and in his mind has most likely found a way to blame you for that too.
My ex used to, in a very joking manner but always with a barb of paranoid truth to it, think I was conniving to make him crazy by hiding his car keys in the morning, moving things around in the house, and just generally making his life unmanageable. On purpose. The paranoia was veiled as humor, but it was very real. To the point that even though our sex life was healthy and normal, he still thought I was 'inappropriate with other men' code words for you are a cheater but I don't have enough evidence gathered through my secret intel in your life to make a firm accusation without sounding totally crazy.
The disease protects its perimeters, and you are threatening it right now.
So you can either accept his quacking and poor-me routine or just smile and nod your head and make comforting noises like "um-hmm" and then go find your happy place, knowing this is all alcoholic babble and so totally normal and classic to most addicts.