In the words of the seemingly wise Sheryl Crow in Soak up the Sun...
"It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got"
I have never been someone who looks and says i want what you have. I need that. In fact I seldom concern myself with what others have as I always focus on what ken is doing.
That comes from my being happy for others when they accomplish something just like I am happy for myself.
The frustration I felt yesterday, a better way to put it, was internal and about what i neglected for so long. Seeing other did not mean I wanted theirs. It meant I wanted to give to me from me regardless of whats around me.
I let myself down.
But since I am not dead... and I am hear looking for new discoveries about myself...
My future is as bright as anyone else and as bright as i am willing to put in the effort.