Originally Posted by
freshstart57 
Meredith, sorry for posting out of turn, but your post was riveting. I say this because I was told something similar on the day of my last drink. It was my father, mother, wife and daughters that were there, and they did exactly what you said that you did.
'You are about to lose your marriage, the respect of your children forever, your home, your job, and then things will start to go downhill for you. So, do whatever you have to do, but you need to choose between alcohol and your life as you know it because you cannot have both. You are only going to get one chance to make this good, so what is it going to be?'
That day was August 22, 2011 and I haven't had a drink since. That is one year of sobriety coming up on this Wednesday. I sincerely hope that you and your DH make that celebration trip in a year.
A side note is that Pa said these things to me, and we all talked as you did with your husband, a month before I knew anything about AVRT. Even today, they have no idea who J Trimpey is or what RR stands for. That is one reason of many why RR rings so true for me.
thank you for this
we are doing very well - I haven't been able to be this relaxed around my husband in a long time. It is as Trimpey says, (paraphrased) that we are right in seeing that alcohol changes our loved ones as if they are possessed, that the one we love has been overtaken and isn't there any more. We are having a happier marriage. All things look better and brighter. My husband is present and with me. YEA!! and happy year and a day of sobriety.
a lifetime well-lived, never drinking again, instead of a lifetime wasted, giving yourself over to the Beast, is truly a reason to celebrate.
Originally Posted by
ReadyAndAble One of the things I love about AVRT—and the more time that goes by, the more I appreciate this—is the clear line it helps me to draw. Alcohol or your life; does it get any starker than that? I'm either a drinker, or I'm not. There's no middle ground, no fuzzy edges. A thought either supports drinking, or it doesn't. It either comes from my addiction, or it comes from me. Right or wrong. Black or white. Gray areas are just another form of AV.
I am disturbingly good at rationalizing; always have been. But AVRT doesn't leave me any wiggle room, no way to rationalize or excuse drinking. And that's awesome, because I spent years rationalizing drinking—whether to drink, when to drink, how much to drink, when to stop, whether to start again... It was exhausting trying to live in the gray areas.
I will never drink again. That word, "never," used to intimidate me. Of course now I realize that was nothing more than AV.
Never, when applied to drinking, is the most comforting word I know.
that "no wiggle room" is excellent, and I love what it's doing to my marriage. He was so slippery all the time, and hiding and lying. It is so good to be here now. We will never go back
I haven't been online in a bunch of days and want to thank you all for your responses! It's good to be happy. Our 17-year-old feline is getting a lot of time and attention because she has a new health issue on top of the old one, so we are getting in all the love we can, all the time.
AND...
my stepmother-in-law's eldest son's wife, has a father who has been practicing alcoholic for decades, including when my step-SIL was a child. A few weeks ago, the father sold a $3000 car for $400 and then took 2 weeks to go through the $400 by purchasing alcohol. So now he and his wife don't even have the money for food or toilet paper, and now no car either.
So my stepMIL shared the Crash Course and Advanced Course and link to the Families page online with my stepSIL and her mother.
My stepSIL and her mother - who is still married to the father - were extremely happy to receive this, so my stepMIL bought the RR book for each of them (off Amazon) and another copy for herself and my father-in-law!!
RR/AVRT is the gift that gives for the rest of our lives. you gave it to me, I passed it on, and you know it will continue to be passed on.
thank you.