Originally Posted by
Irrelevant 
I feel lesser of a person for even being an alcoholic in the first place, upset that a few stupid decisions have lead me potentially to a point of no return. Even if I never had another drop of alcohol in my life, it wouldn't change the fact I will always be an alcoholic. I never asked to be an alcoholic. I don't want to be an alcoholic. Hell I don't even have a good reason as to why I am one.
I'm just so confused. This problem has hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel as if I am doomed forever, regardless of my actions.
-Irrelevant
Do you think any of us said "I want to be an alcoholic when I grow up."? None of us have a good reason as to why we became alcoholics. Sometimes in life, there are no answers to the question why, just acceptance of the fact.
Your feelings right now are all a part of the process of coming to terms with alcoholism.
Alcoholism does not discriminate and to be an alcoholic is not a sign of a character flaw or innate weakness; let that ignorant stigma go. Do some research and you will find some incredibly gifted, intelligent and privileged people who have had problems with alcoholism and/or another addiction.
Alcoholics are not the only people who have to abstain from drink in order to preserve their health. Those with liver disease, such as hepatitis, cannot drink. A girlfriend of mine did volunteer work in a prison and contracted hepatitis from an inmate. She had been a social drinker, but can no longer drink. The difference between her and me is that she did not have the emotional and psychological attachment to the importance of drinking.
You are not doomed. Your life will be what you make of it and right now you are miles ahead of many of us here in that you are recognizing things at a young age and have the opportunity to make that big difference in your life.
Go for it!