It is enormously helpful to receive support that meets us right where we are. In fact it might even be necessary to recieve that kind of support in order to get the courage to risk making a change. It is also extremely helpful to be supported by people who have successfully made the kind of changes we only dream about. They help us know it is possible. But they also share their wisdom. Point out the landmines and landmarks. They KNOW the road. SR can bring you both of these kinds of support. It is priceless help. And it surely has prolonged my life, and saved me from spending the rest of my life in hell.
But sometimes we need more than SR can provide.
Sometimes it is worth it to clear your own path. I think when we were young most of us felt that way. But maturity is what helps us see when to find our own way, and when to ask for directions.
I can understand you flailing against feeling told what to do, by SR, by family, by your girlfriend. But surely there are things from the past where you have known that to listen to expert advice was the best thing. In sports for example, did you listen to coaches? Did you learn from them? Were you less than because you took their advice, or did it improve you? Could you have figured it all out without them? Or gotten as far, as fast?
I say this because I feel individual counseling offers something extra that you're not getting here. It is totally private. Your parents and your girlfriend do not have to know why or where you're going, or even that you are. The spots where you are getting stuck may take a very long time for you to work out on your own. You may even never work them out, and just keep spinning. What a shame that would be for you, as the spinning is not necesssary.
With counseling you could become self ~aware more quickly. And it is obvious you have great drive and a great capacity for insight, and a hunger to know yourself better. Those are not common traits in a young man, Paul. Because you have them, you have great potential for creating a happier more satisfying life. I sincerely hope you will consider it.
Because you really deserve that life, Paul. You really do.