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Old 08-22-2012, 07:12 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
dandylion
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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It is for certain that your son "knows" more than you think he does. Children are like sponges and absorb everything in the environment. As parents we often assume that they are not negatively impacted by certain things just because they are quiet or are not talking about things. Actually they do not have the ability to verbalize their feelings in the same way we do, or may be afraid to do so in certain cases.

It is in the family unit that we recieve our first and most powerful lessons about how people are supposed to interact with each other. What we see in our childhood homes we assume is normal. The child has no firm basis for evaluating otherwise. Growing up in the turmoil of addiction has a profound effect on the developing child. We know the devastating effect that it has on us, as adults, so, imagine what goes on inside the child.

I can hardly keep from crying every time I read the ACOA board. It is amazing how many confess that they prayed for their parents to seperate while one parent was dedicated to keeping the marriage together "for the sake of the kids".

Liz, it does sound like your son is very sensitive. The sensitive kids are even more incl ined not to miss a thing! We co-dependent adults almost always have a history of significant dysfunction in the family of origin---messed up boundries, etc....

How does your son feel about going to alanon? I agree that that would be a good idea.

I thought your son's question was heartbreaking, too.

dandylion
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