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Old 08-21-2012, 08:27 PM
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Change4good
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Long time, no post.

Hi friends,

Just checking in to let you know how much I value this community. I have had some ups and downs. Currently, in a down.

I continue to work, read books to my kids,work out, contribute to my various communities (pre-school and civic), take out the trash, have lunches with friends, etc.

I counted them tonight, and I have had 7 relapses since I joined in December 2011. Most have been relatively benign (a few drinks in the evening and fine the next day.) One was scary, in that I drank champagne on a weekend morning to ease discomfort.

I will continue to stay with you, and work through this. And as you folks are the best at offering tough love, little judgement, and lots of advice, I welcome what you have to offer.

I also understand that you might say words I have heard before, but that is never a bad thing. Sometimes you need to hear it over and over before it penetrates.

I want to believe that my kids are oblivious, but I am a child of an alcoholic household, and know that I registered thoughts when I was 3 (my oldest). I save my drinking for after I am sure they are safe and asleep. But the next morning, they don't have the most patient mom. I am not as present as I should be.

I also think it is a matter of time before I stop receiving praise at work and people begin to doubt me. Hell, I doubt my work and instincts at this point.

That is all. Keep on keepin on people.

C
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