Welcome to SR WhySoSerious-glad you found us. SR will help you regain your sanity. People that have problems with alcohol are often filled with self loathing, shame, guilt, and a feeling of helplessness. None of us like who we are drunk (yet we keep on remembering the happy drinking times, which are not the norm for most of us). Just the fact that you're concerned about your actions and seeking help shows that the nice guy is still in there struggling to get out again and can prevail.
Take it in small steps at a time. Be kind to yourself, you'll be learning a new lifestyle and it's not easy. If you have been treating people badly, they'll welcome the change, and probably give you a lot of support. They probably already know you have a drinking problem and want to help you. Come here often to vent, share how you're doing,etc. Safety in numbers
