The sober me was always a good person, however he was lost in cleaning up the messes, the lies, the deceit that the drunk me created. The drunk me is not s good person, and needed to be controlled. I've been sober for a small amount of time(32 days) and I can honestly say its been an amazing journey so far. No more lieing, no more uncertainty over what I did, how much I spent, where I was the night before. Still a lot of work to do, but feel so much better. Why so, I convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't drink everyday, could have two or three and stop,could go months without it, Yada,Yada. That all blew up on me and now I won't listen to that demon inside telling me it will be ok, it won't... I cannot and will not have that first drink...