New here - have I gone insane?
I'm very concerned and disappointed by my actions lately. I once was a pretty normal guy, I had dreams, ambitions, people thought I was kind and thoughtful. That person may not exist anymore. I started drinking heavily about 12 years ago, but it has progressed to a level that is starting to really scare me. I don't really know who I am anymore. I can tell myself it's just partying and just fun on the weekends, but that would be a lie at this point. The way I treat other people, including my parents, is troublesome. I'm not the nice guy I once was. I womanize, I binge, I step on anyone I can. People are angered by what I do but it rarely deters me. I didn't used to be like this. Maybe I have become a crazy person, but it's hard for me to think that when I am still capable of rational thoughts, still capable of functioning in society and doing good things. But the blackouts, the conversations I don't remember, the bad things I do need to end. I just don't have any answers and I'm getting a bit worried. I don't know why I'm like this. Maybe nobody could know. I hope I've found a place where others may understand what I'm struggling with. That's all. Any answers are appreciated, thanks.