((khoye)) - People here definitely understand the relief when our addict (A) loved ones are locked up. We know where they are. As both an RA (recovering addict) AND a loved one of A's, I see both sides.
Does he mean what he says? I can only tell you my experience. Yes, while I was in jail I was totally disgusted with my lifestyle and the consequences. When I got out? Straight back to the 'hood and crack. My XABF#3 was the same way.
It took me a few jail stents, a good bit of clean time then a relapse and my family saying, "that's it...we're done". I was on probation..violation meant prison and my dad threatened to call my PO. At the same time, I was finding that I just couldn't GET high enough to undo the bit of progress I'd made. I chose recovery.
I strongly suggest you go by actions rather than words. It's easy to "hate the drugs and lifestyle" when you're behind bars and being told what to do. It's not so easy when you get back out and have freedom. Only if he truly wants recovery, will he find it.
Keep reading here, maybe go to an al-anon meeting, and take a lot of deep breaths. I got to where I couldn't believe a word my ex said in jail after other times of putting money on his books, sending him supportive letters, etc. He didn't want recovery. Even though we shared the same addiction, there was nothing I could do to make him want recovery.
I clung close to SR during this time, and it helped a lot. I found out I wasn't alone (and neither are you) and I've learned about taking care of ME. I still slip and slide back into codie-land, but I don't stay there long.
Whether he truly wants recovery and is willing to do the work involved? Totally up to him.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy