khoye

You think I'd be sad about it but I'm honestly so happy. I've been praying for him to get pulled over or caught doing what he was doing for weeks now.

I feel like I can finally sleep at night. It's really weird though. I can't seem to tell if he really means it when he says "i ******* hate heroin i never want to touch that **** again, it ruined my life, its so ******* disgusting." The conversation we had made me tear up. I wonder if he really does want to change his life? He always tells me how much he hates heroin and wishes he could stop. Maybe he just is afraid? Before we ended the conversation, he told me how much he loves me when he is sober. He started getting choked up and said "i don't want to talk about it too much because you can't cry in jail...but I can't even begin to explain how in love with you I am and how lucky I am to have you in my life. I know I'm going to lose you if I keep doing heroin and I can't even think about it, honestly." He also told me that he would wake up in a room with his using friend, Michael, and be like.. "what the hell?? Why is he here, this is so wrong.." I guess it wasn't enough guilt to make him stop doing what he was doing though.

Sounds like he means it now... But will he mean it in six months? Probably not. His family and I are hoping that with his TASC court that he is on now, he will get court ordered to a 90-180 day treatment program. Even if he hates it at first though, he'll have to stay and face himself for an extended period of time. He'll have to learn the coping mechanisms and be forced to change.

All I can say is that I'm so glad. I can finally sleep at night again knowing he isn't out doing God knows what and possibly overdosing on heroin.

I finally was able to let go and let God and he really did a great thing for everyones lives and peace of mind.

I wish I never fell in love with a heroin addict.