Honestly, MamaBear, in my opinion, you should strike while the iron is hot. If it were me, I'd gather my strength and my resources, make the arrangements, and when it is time to go, let him know you are leaving. Don't leave to try to get him to see the light or change, leave for you and your children. If you tell him ahead of time, he'll clean his act up for a while and then, when you are fed up again and leave, he will just say "See? I quit and you left anyway!" Why prolong the agony and give him one more reason to blame you?