My XAH was blindsided, even though I'd been waving red flags in his face for months. (I thought slamming my rings down on the kitchen counter - and leaving them there - would have been a hint.) But no. He saw and ignored what he wanted to.
I'd definitely have your ducks in a row, and I probably wouldn't bother giving it to him. Save it for yourself - you will need it. I found a letter on my computer I wrote to XAH about 7 years before I finally divorced him... and it was painful. Nothing changed. Not. A. Thing. Nothing in all those years, except perhaps for getting worse.
Be strong. You don't have to live like that.