Welcome to the SR family!
Have you heard about the 3 C's of your fuctioning alcoholic's dis-ease?
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You won't Cure it.
Has talking with him, or threatening to leave, or offering ultimatums in the past caused a lasting change in his alcohol consumption? No, or you would be living with a sober, recovering man today.
You are not alone. We have tried everything and anything to get our loved ones to see that their alcohol consumption is causing financial, emotional and physcial strain on the rest of the family - and we ended up with the same results: resentments, anger, frustration and exhaustion.
Here are some steps that did help me while living with active alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html