Originally Posted by
NWGRITS 
:codiepolice Yes, I'm bringing this guy around again because he's needed.
I'm going to agree with SimplyFab on this one: Holy Codependency, Batman! You've made a ton of excuses with the argument that he's a good parent, but in reality, you're doing your children a HUGE disservice by keeping them in this environment. They're learning that this type of relationship is healthy, and that all of these things are normal. You need to do what's best for yourself and your children, NOT your AH. Get out and don't look back.
I'm not even really going to comment on the "rapist" thing, because that is all kinds of effed up and not normal whatsoever. Pleasepleaseplease take a step back and see what you're doing to yourself and your children. You owe it to them to have a safe, HEALTHY home. Where you are right now is the complete opposite of that.
Thank you for caring. Yet, you obviously know from being on these boards that sometimes us codies need our own bottom and I guess I haven't hit mine. AH and I will be attending marriage counseling soon and I am doing it to show that I am making that last effort on my part to repair what is probably irreparably broken. I know it's probably futile and that he's deep in his own denial. I am trying slowly to come out of mine.
I have my own cash that I'm setting aside. I'm looking for part time work. I'm getting back to the gym and taking care of myself physically. I'm committing to more Al Anon meetings a week, etc. This is a major process for me. Undoing 20 years of behaviors that are ingrained in my psyche. It didn't happen overnight and getting myself back will not happen overnight either.
As for the stupid card that he set up, it came in the mail yesterday. He told me Friday that he didn't set up any credit that I should know about and the card just came in the mail. Umm, why lie about something so stupid like that? As a good friend of mine in AA likes to say, "I was an alcoholic and if my lips were moving, I was lying." That's the hardest part of the disease for me to accept because I take it way too personal!