I think you are doing a great job of sticking to your boundary.
I also believe you are taking steps to self-love and I believe you will be ok!
I also kept falling back into stinking thinking about the good qualities of my alcoholic husband. But the reality was, that the good qualities were not consistent or frequent.
I decided to carry a note in my wallet that I could reference with ease when I was having stinking thinking about my alcoholic:
___________'s love come with:
financial disasters
legal trouble
lying
manipulation
minimization
denial
health problems
That list was my quick reality check!
With today's smart phones, the list could be stored on your phone for easy reference.
I also changed his name on my phone so that when he called it did not show his name, instead it showed his identity as: I Stole From You
that was my quick reminder of who I was dealing with when I answered the call.