Originally Posted by
lizatola 
Ahh, you must be shocked by the rapist comment, LOL? Not sure if you read some of my recent stuff but he says that he thinks that every time we have had sex in the past 20 years that I'm going to call him a rapist. His words were, "You're going to wake up in the AM, get on the phone and call the police, and tell them that your husband raped you." This is because I'm a former rape victim(oh, and a molestation victim when I was 7, surprised he didn't throw that in my face). When I confronted him about it the next day, ya know for clarification for myself since I'm a glutton for punishment, he said, "Well, not every time we had sex." UGH! That's also when he blamed me for his p*rn usage because he hasn't been getting any in the bedroom. Gee, like he's really appealing to me when he lies, risks the family's savings, looks at porn, and continues to drink. And, yet, I'm somehow still at fault.
Anyway, to answer your question. I am still married to him because he does have good qualities especially when it comes to parenting. We have a lot of investments tied together, a new house that I just put a ton of energy and money into, and I don't have any income. Also, our son is special needs(as far as educational needs are concerned) and I homeschool him right now. This gives me time to get him to the reading specialist, his neuropsychologist, math tutor, etc without killing our evenings because ds plays competitive tennis and practices at night. The tennis is what keeps my son sane, it builds his confidence, contributes to his social circle, and keeps him in shape. It helps him with dealing with conflict, sticking up for himself, etc and I am not ready to take any of that away from him. Also, I really enjoy homeschooling.
I am currently looking for a part time job I can do from home, possibly in real estate support and appointment setting or in the financial industries. Also, I am putting away money on a weekly basis, building up some savings for me, and making sure our documents and legal stuff is all in order.
:codiepolice Yes, I'm bringing this guy around again because he's needed.
I'm going to agree with SimplyFab on this one: Holy Codependency, Batman! You've made a ton of excuses with the argument that he's a good parent, but in reality, you're doing your children a HUGE disservice by keeping them in this environment. They're learning that this type of relationship is healthy, and that all of these things are normal. You need to do what's best for yourself and your children, NOT your AH. Get out and don't look back.
I'm not even really going to comment on the "rapist" thing, because that is all kinds of effed up and not normal whatsoever. Pleasepleaseplease take a step back and see what you're doing to yourself and your children. You owe it to them to have a safe, HEALTHY home. Where you are right now is the complete opposite of that.