Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Dear Liz, I can't avoid pointing out, that in recent posts you have said that you don't care what he does along sexual lines as long as he leaves you alone. So, why are you obsessing about it now---possibly a control issue more than a sexual issue? Whatever, it is still kind of pointless, isn't it?
I think making the financial preparations, which you say that you have started and continuing the alanon meetings (with GUSTO) is a far better way to channel your anxiety.
Relief comes the minute you stop worrying about the problem and attack the solutions to the problem with action. How do I know this? Because I have experienced this every single I decided to stop worrying and to take constructive action--even when that action was only "baby steps".
dandylion
YES!!! Can I scream that now? It's definitely a control issue, duh. Why didn't I label it for what it is? Actually, it's not about the sex stuff, it's about what he might be doing with OUR money more than anything. I still feel that way. I just want to know where our money is going.
I tried bringing it up in a round about way and he denied opening up any kind of credit cards and got on my case about it and said, "You're the one with the secret credit card." Umm, if it was a secret than how do YOU know about, hello??? Oh, that's right because I told you I was doing it so that I can rebuild credit in MY OWN NAME in case something happens to you. I did this because a friend of mine lost her husband unexpectedly in an accident and couldn't get credit in her name because it was all tied to her husband. It's not like I was hiding it!