I struggle with the lies I tell myself. It's a crazy loop - when I was reading this, I thought "I don't lie to myself", and right after I thought I realized that right there, I was lying to myself about lying to myself.
I have terrible patterns of lying to myself and choosing things that will hurt me. I try to convince myself that I'm not hurting myself.
I have very little trust in me.
I'm going to 3 Al anon meetings a week. I'm reading and studying. I'm going out for coffee with people after the meetings. I'm hearing it all and learning it all, but for some reason none of it is working it's way inside. My logical mind knows the truth, but my heart and my soul are still acting like a self destructive 16 year old.