Abandonment is a traumatic experience. It is helping me to read about it and what it does to your emotions and thoughts about yourself. Also, the more I read here and go to Al-Anon, the more truth is revealed to me about what has happened to me in my relationship with A&AXBF. It is horrible how people who you sincerely care about, help, and take care of can leave you at the drop of a hat with no sense of loyalty, commitment, or concern for your well-being, despite the promises or vows they have made. It has also helped me in the past to read about sociopaths because I recognize sociopathic traits in so many active alcoholics and addicts I have known.