I guess I should add, I don't cry about AH or my marriage.
I am concerned for his health and have some compassion for his situation. I regret the path my marriage followed to where we are just roommates who happen to share grown children and who, for the most part, get along now that I focus on my recovery and not his.
But the bitter tears were cried years ago and I don't cry about it any more.
(I don't think I'll go see that new Meryl Streep movie about wanting a real marriage.)