WTBH: I need to confess that I too have been reading your posts for a long time now and just never felt I had anything to add that was more than what other posters were providing (wonderful support group here right?!).
This last episode has me really heart sick on so many levels. Also woke me up last night - I think I got triggered because of the verbal abuse you suffered in front of your kids. I was one of those kids once and I need to tell you that there is nothing more terrifying and apparently it doesn't completely go away either given my nightmare of last night. I am 54....have had tons of therapy and am a pretty well adjusted person by all accounts. That type of abuse, the effect on me, my mother, my ability to have relationships with men, actually my ability to have trusting relationships with anyone.....have been impacted by what I experienced in my early years.
You are so doing the right thing by sheltering your girls. You also were very wonderful by taking them someplace last night, cuddling and having Mom/Girl time. And you did this while trying to catch your balance....that's all good.
What I want to tell you isn't easy and it is something you probably don't want to hear. But all of the good you are doing......it just isn't enough, fast enough for your dear daughters. (or for you really!) My Mom kept me safe at times....but she made me keep contact with my dad......even when I didn't want it. She even went back to him......I had to go too....no choice....too young to have a voice. Can't tell you how much time I spent huddled in a closet keeping my younger brother safe while my parents went at each other. I was useful to her though because eventually I got strong and I put myself between them and tried to keep her safe. I acted as a buffer and allowed her to live her life by assuming her battles. Man....looking back is difficult, it was so sick, but my Mom thought it was ok. I was coping and capable, I was really strong....I learned that from her, my brother was sheltered from it, she could live her life to some degree and my dad's need to be mean was being met. I took up the challenge....and I succeeded to some degree.
The end of this story is very happy for me but very tragic in the middle. My Mom died at age 44......my dad slipped into a horrible addictive place.....remarried a consummate enabler.....died 5 yrs ago.....my brother is an alcoholic....My kids.....never knew their grandparents. I kept them as far away from my Dad as I could; never wanted them to be touched by that unhealthiness. That isn't important here though. I just really really wish I could reach out to you in some way to let you know that you need to remove yourself and your daughters from this insanity! Sooner the better. If your lawyer isn't aggressive enough then find another one....if you are still scared of the police...move! Enough already....you have your life and two young lives to protect.....get angry...get motivated....do it!! It won't work out well if you do things by half measures.....
You may have to let go of what you want and focus only on your daughters....but I will say that you need to focus on whatever it takes to remove this toxin from their lives. The toxin is not only him....but the reaction between you and him. Until that tie is severed and they are protected from it entirely there will be no healing.
I know you are doing the best you know at the moment. I will say that you are on the right track and your heart is in the right place. You just need to throw it into overdrive and get the whole thing done and taken care of you and those two sweet girls and get away from this once and for all....completely....done....
Hugs....
Practical aside....if you need to have them see him and turn them over.....really pick a public place....INSIDE...not the parking lot. Few ideas.....local fire station, hospital ER, local clinic.....ok......pick a very public place where there are people working who are sensitive to social issues.
I am not trying to be overly tough here....I care!