Hi- I am okay, the girls are okay (relatively speaking...)
I really appreciate the love and warmth from all of you. I just cried reading all the posts and really appreciate that I could turn here for support.
I didn't even think of the video surveillance... Brilliant. I called my lawyer and left a message on his voice mail about contacting the local target to see about getting it asap. It's possible he already did and thought of it before me!
As for a recording device... well, all my years of recording xAH and thinking that I'd have something to protect me went out the window several months ago when my lawyer educated me about the laws of my ridiculous state. This state is more concerned with "individiual liberties" than it is interested in protecting those who are in harms way bc of sociopaths like my ex. My state evidently is one of few with ridiculously strict wire tap laws (which also apply to recording with a smart phone or anything of the like). Unless I have xAH's explicit permission (that I can prove) saying that he is aware I am taping him and is okay with it, not only can my recording NOT be used in court or with the police to get a RO etc but I can be found guilty of infringing ON HIS PERSONAL rights by taping him without permission. As if I don't hate this state enough already, this piece of a$$ backwards law really made my head spin.
So, I can record him all I like but it will be useless.
Between last night and today I have spoken to my lawyer and he is filing a petition with the court for an immediate appointment of a guardian ad lidem and requesting that we be required to do kid exchanging at one of the state approved drop off spots that are usually reserved for visitation with supervision. That way there would be a live audience. He told me it's going to be an uphill battle bc it's really my word vs his but he is presenting it in his motion (or whatever it is called) in terms of concern for what's best for the girls (bc that's what it is) and not making it about me vs. xah... So, I don't expect an immediate answer on all of that but at least it's action.
He is not scheduled to have the girls until next weekend so before Sunday comes I will come up with a plan for where and with whom the exchange will occur.
I like the idea of the police station but given the state of his r/s with the police and my being arrested when HE assaulted me, the last place I feel safe is anywhere near the cops.
I feel like there are other things I should respond to but I can't recall what they are... again, I really appreciate all the feedback and support.
Last night was awful. And today the girls were a mess and crying when I dropped them at camp and I worried I'd have trouble putting on a happy face at the new job but did fine. I told the camp counselors it had been a rough weekend and asked that they give the girls extra TLC today and the girls were both in better spirits when I picked them up though they are both still quite teary and clingy and I can't blame them a bit.
I have never wished for someone to die a miserable painful death like I wish that for xAH right now. I know being vindictive and spiteful and angry isn't a productive way to live but frankly being pissed off mad feels a lot better than crying and broken. If there were a way to wish someone straight off a cliff, he would be there already. My T told me to read People of the Lie some time ago about how evil is in people all around us and how hidden it can be in some actions etc... I did read it and never quite believed that XAH was truly evil but I can say now without a doubt that he is. Pure evil.