Nybord,
Welcome!!! Glad to see you here!
Geeze, I read your post and your questions and thoughts remind me of my own when I first joined here.
I was with my A (now my x) for close to 9 years. We have a 5 year old daughter together. He drank and smoked weed every day, which got worse over the years. This past year he started in with crack.
He still does not think he has a problem. He has lost me and his daughter, our house and my love and trust. It took me a long time to understand his disease, took me reading and educating myself, coming here a whole lot, and finding support in any avenue I could get it. I was scared and hated the disease. But loved my A.
Let me tell you, your boyfriend is going to make it sound really good, he is going to tell you he has it under control. He is going to say you and your daughter mean the world to him. He will make you feel like everything is ok, he will say that it has hit home to him to be in jail, just be ready for the fall after every time he will tell you these things, and carry them out temporaily, but then fall back into his pattern that is making you question whether he has a problem or not.
It is tuff, and it will make you tuff. Having a newborn is enough, I hope your taking good care of yourself and getting some rest.
I absolutley love the way you spell your daughters name.
Keep coming here, feel free to email me anytime. It helps to have support and someone to talk to.
So glad you found us!!!
Take care....