I am at the same place as you right now. I am trying to figure out financially how to do it. My biggest concern in that AH who is now in detox for the second time in a year loses his job and his benefits, not for me (I can worry about me) but for our teenagers. It is only by the grace of God that he doesn't have a DUI anywhere on his record. As others have suggested please tale to a therapist and start a list of things you need to do to make yourself healthy and happy and start checking them off. That's what I have. It makes me feel in control.