Thread: Catholic Guilt
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:52 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Hopeworks
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The church has failed to address a scripturally sound approach to the extremely difficult issues in a marriage failing due to an alcoholic partner and the typical knee jerk response is "pray harder" by many is one made in ignorance.

I have studied this subject out and while not a theologian it is only common sense that take all scripture in it's entirety and especially the words of Christ and it becomes pretty plain "what Jesus would do".

When our spouse (usually the husband who is theoretically responsible for the spiritual condition of his family) is tearing a marriage apart through their destructive behaviors (sin) there SHOULD be consequences for that behavior.

Think about this... Throughout scripture Israel relationship with God was always patterned as a marriage covenant and a shadow of what was to come... the Bridegroom Christ. The Old and New Testament are "covenants" or contracts if you will where one party agrees to "covenant" with the other. In a Christian wedding convenant there are three parties ... husband, wife and God and each is supposed to live a certain way in relationship and submission to eachother.

What did God do when Israel broke her covenant with God and went after idols (think alcohol being an idol here)? Did he chase after her and beg her to please reconsider? Did Jesus chase after the rich young ruler?

Did God divorce Israel? Did Jesus withdraw all hope of redemption for the rich young ruler?

No... Israel time and again would betray their God and God would withdraw his hand of protection (God is NOT codependent!) and off Israel would go into captivity...again... again and again.

Sort of like a "boundary" isn't it? The ten commandments were not the "10 suggestions". Jesus wept as he looked over Jerusalem but scripture is clear that we are all expected to live out our faith as followers not hearers only.

So... scripture is clear what a husband is supposed to do...love his wife as his Christ loved the church and gave his life for her! Scripture says there will be no drunkards in heaven and obviously insanity and abuse are not something that Jesus or God would have expected his children to tolerate.

Therefore ... we are to follow God and he clearly showed us how to deal with sin... with boundaries and to allow those in sin an opportunity to TRULY repent and receive an opportunity to demonstrate that and recieve redemption.

There is a GREAT book that explores this called "Redemptive Divorce" (google is your friend here as we cannot link) and the suggestion is that the spouse file a divorce clearly listing the issues (abuse, alcoholism, infidelity) and map out exactly what actions would be required of the spouse to effect an eventual reconciliation and for the divorce action to be dropped.

For an alcoholic in denial this is the ultimate intervention... in black and white and filed at the courthouse!

This may be a bit too radical for some but the book is GOOD even if you are not a believer... it is common sense and it is theologically sound in my opinion!
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