Originally Posted by
ananda 
If I quit drinking things are gonna be tough in terms of integrity (lost alot of that the last 9 months), but I do know that if I can get that back I might find some happiness/contentment/hope.
Ananda,
It's good to "see" you again, and I really appreciate your honesty.
I heard a definition of integrity that may be of some value: integrity comes from the same root as integer, a whole or complete number. Integrity is when ones words and actions are whole or complete. Your posts in this thread are an honest reflection of the reality of where you are, without varnish or spin. In that regard I would say you have plenty of integrity, ugly though the situation may be. The only place that integrity truly exists is now, past actions may be viewed with nostaglia or regret but have no bearing on your integity.
Good luck, sobriety is difficult but so very worth the effort.
Edd