Thought I'd check in
Hi,
Most people I knew seem to be gone, but I thought I'd check in. I'm struggling with sobriety and have set a drop dead stop date for next Wednesday. I hope to do it this weekend, but I do have a plan for stoping effective Tuesday night and I've managed to waffle my way into a bottle tonight. I really don't care how I get sober, but it doesn't seem to work when I try things I honestly don't believe and haven't when I did get time...
Anyways, I thought I'd post. I may not come back for months if I fail, but if I follow through on Tuesday I will plan to log on here for help. My AA group is no longer an option (burned all those bridges) and other than one AA freind who has stood by me, I have family (who don't need my problems) and myself to pull out of this. (please note that I am not critizising AA, just saying I burned people out and it might not have been a good fit).
I'm paying the concequences for my past drinking, and that is an easy excuse for not bothering to stop. However, I believe I have to make this decision and look for a way to do this regardless of others opinions, ideas and statements. I did it once, but I was a far stronger person then.
I'll check back Wednesday morning at the latest. Frankly, if SR secular doesn't meet my needs I'll still bully my way through. That sounds so negative, but I'm pretty fed up with everything. Helping others made me feel good, but in the end....I need... LOL well I don't know what I need! But at least trying to connect seems like a good thing.
Ananda