A bunch of people told me that when the truth was finally revealed. Always some form of, "you had the perfect marriage." I'd always tell them "nobody really knows what a marriage is like except the people in it, including yours."
They didn't really like my response but it normally ended the conversation which is exactly what I wanted.
Take care Buddy,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
grizz 
Thank you English Garden,
It amazes me how eloquent you write. Your words are like a soothing balm to the souls of us that hear from you. You are right, I have been doing a lot of soul searching. My wife has been in the house about a third of the time for the last three months, spending the rest of the time in LA finding herself as an artist. With her being away it has given me time to really think about who I am, who I have become and who I want to be in the future. I really like me when she isnt here. My 19 year old daughter summed it up when she said. " I dont know if I am supposed to feel this way, but it is a lot less stressful when mom isnt here". It was like I got smacked between the eyes. One of the quotes I got from SR family is "nothing changes if nothing changes" this is my new mantra. I think a lot of my reasoning for not divorcing or even seperating comes from my childhood. I was raised in a conservative church where divorce was almost the unpardonable sin. There has not been one divorce on either side of my family. My father is disabled do to a stroke and I am the kinda unspoken next patriarch of a very large family. I feel like the wizard of OZ. Anyone that would see my wife and I would think we are the perfect couple. But alas, it is all smoke and mirrors.