Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
so how do you feel about everything, now that the counselor has confirmed that marital counseling is pointless when one of the parties is actively engaged in addiction?
I actually feel good. The MC and I decided that it is a good thing that AH is at least going to give this a shot and MC encouraged me to hold my boundary: next time I find out he drinks, we separate. He wants me to make it clear to AH, too, because even though I said it last week it may not have sunk in.
He still wants to 'try' to see if we can all work together but he wasn't too hopeful. I don't know if he gave this same message to AH, though, so it will be interesting to see what happens as things progress. Right now, I'm OK with the status quo and the holding pattern I'm in. I do feel good and I think a lot of it comes down to finally getting some peace in terms of acceptance. It's been a slow process, over the course of almost a year now but I am finally coming out of my own denial. Yes, it fluctuates and some days are darker than others but I know it will all work out. For now, I'm comfortable with biding my time, getting my finances in order, getting my car situation handled(I just got a bunch of warranty work completed on my car in case I need to sell it soon), putting my son's school and extracurricular schedule together, and getting back out on court for my fall tennis season for myself. Basically, I'm just doing what I need to do for ds and I, AH can do what he needs to do for himself. I'm detaching very well, I'm hoping that detaching with love will follow as I become more mature with my program.