Hi Nybord,
I could so relate to your story. My husband said he wasn't an alcoholic he just drank too much. A very wise person in an Alanon meeting once told me that people who are not alcoholics don't think about quitting drinking.
I am an addict myself with over 10 yrs in recovery and I was scared for myself if my husband started using. Well, he has and I have done all the threats and laying down the law. I learned that none of that will make him stop. If you truly don't want to live with an active alcoholic than make the move. But, if you choose to stay then there are a lot of programs that will support you if and when things get rough. I find I'm actually finding myself while trying to detach from my husband and it has been a pretty cool journey so far. This is a wonderful site with a lot of wise people that have been through it all. I suggest going back and reading some of them. It really helped me.
Good luck
Searching