To anyone who is willing to put themselves through abuse for any reason . . .get help for yourself - leave the person, go to a safe place, get into therapy - I know how hard it can be (all of the little life complications that make people put up with abuse).
I allowed myself to be abused and "forgot" each time it happened . . . I viewed each occurrence as an isolated event, then had PTSD and literally forgot it. That was my way of coping. Why would anyone do that? It's doesn't matter. What does matter is that it helps no one - it crushes you and ruins your self esteem, if you have children, it teaches them violence and abuse, it does not protect or help the abuser to allow them to abuse people . . . it sets up a cycle of them becoming monsters . . .In the end, confide in a girlfriend, family, counselor . . .and make the necessary changes, no matter how hard.
If you don't, you will wake up old and sick and traumatized or dead.