This seems to be the topic of the week here on SR. Seems many of us are dissatisfied in this area of our relationships with As and As.
Is it possible to be with an addict and have a healthy marriage, intimacy and sex life? Are there others out there who have overcome issues like this and moved forward in a healthy and loving relationship?
I've tried three times with three separate Alcs/Adds and my answer is No, I have not been able to have a healthy partnership, intimacy or sex life with any of them. I could not overcome the issues because I kept being cheated on by them, and they do not know what is true intimacy and they have healthy sexual habits. I was never able to move forward in a healthy relationship with any of them because they are very sick people.
IMO, Your husband has been cheating on you whether he admits to having been "physical" with any of them or not. What he describes they do for him "like a psychiatrist" is the role of the spouse.