After the emotional affair was my fault, and the verbal abuse started, and he said in counseling that he did not want to stay married to someone who made him feel like dirt, when we started talking separation he said that he would drink less and not have to take meds because I was the reason he drank and had high blood pressure. Up until then I thought that there might be some truth to what he said, but when he said that I knew he had a very warped sense of reality and that if I stuck around I might start to believe that. I knew it wasn't healthy for me to stay and It was beginning to feel unsafe. I left the home, later returned and he moved out. We are still not divorced. That step has been hard for both of us.
He has since been drinking more and has had several medical problems which have been complicated by his drinking.