I definitely am not meaning to come across provocative ... when you say it is supposed to be used as a safety net... is that not what i am doing when i say its there if the urge becomes too much to control? (This isnt supposed to come across as argumentative just a genuine question)
Youre right - i am at a crossroads and finding it extremely difficult. Days and days i struggle but get through without drinking, but then there are days where possibly something happens or a trigger goes off in my brain where the compulsion to drink becomes so strong that i cant control it, it happens before any rational thought about what im about to do comes into play... Having taken naltrexone is this not the safety net measure?
I dont "want" to drink any more - this addiction is so hard to describe, i dont want to be a drinker let alone an alcoholic, but when the compulsion kicks me into buying and drinking if the naltrexone takes the bang out of the drink then surely this is the safety net? If i wanted to use it just as an excuse to drink i would literally just take it every day and drink every day, but i try my hardest to get maximum days away from alcohol, it just makes me feel better knowing that the naltrexone is there if an uncontrollable urge comes on that it will help to control that one particular situation, rather than control a drinking career...
I literally dont mean to provoke anyone