Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr

Fascinating thread. What helped me see more clearly was this: one day I realized that even though I complained and expressed anger, the action of staying with an alcoholic said I agreed with him. By being with him I went along with his drinking, rage, lies and abuse.

After one of my typical rants about the ******* my sponsor said: "well, you picked him!" It felt like being punched but was a huge gift because I could no longer pretend I was a victim.