I have the same thoughts you expressed about having no ability to turn the responsibility of managing my life successfully over to anyone but myself. The buck stops here. If I even tried for some reason to think myself into the concept that some outside power was responsible for the sobriety I have gained, I am pretty sure I would not be as strong and resolute in my desire to make healthy choices. I have always been questioning and cynical about so called authority and nothing about achieving a sober life makes my approach different.