I have read your responses regarding boundaries. I need to assure my boundaries are met by my ACTIONS without verbalizing the boundaries/ultimatiums. This is my issue. His children will visit and he may tell us he wants to come to our home to stay with the kids while they are here. He will just be getting out of jail (we think, and maybe not) and rehab. What happens if he would decide to drink in our home without a license or a car? The success rate of an alcoholic not drinking is 3% I was told. (At least at the first try). Do I tell him he has to leave WITHOUT his children? This is why I was thinking we needed to let him know NO DRINKING while staying at our house and if you drink, we will take you to the nearest hotel (I was thinking a hotel). We wouldn't/couldn't let his kids get involved, even though he and his wife have for 8 years now. Anyhow... I am baffled on how to get my 'boundaries' across since we do not live together, even in the same state. But when he is visiting, I need boundaries. If he oversteps the boundary... I don't know how to enforce 'eviction' with his children here.