Here's what helped me. I wrote a list of all the horrible things he did during our relationship on one side and then the other side I wrote all the nice things he did. The bad really outweighed the good. Everytime he would beg for yet another chance I look at that list and think NO WAY. Guess everyone has a breaking point. Mind was when he took our son to a bar and had him crawling around and then got he drunk and drove with him in car. I was at work thinking he was looking after our son. I realised that staying with him I would be putting my son in danger. That was it for me. Told him to leave that night and have never looked back. The day he puts your baby in danger is the day you get out. Everyday now I get nasty message after message saying I am a bad mother, blaming me for everything that is wrong in this life. Alcoholics blame everyone but themselves for their problems. I used to be his DOORMAT. Lets face it most of us who stay with these idiots are. They make you feel guilty for wanting to leave with their sob stories. I finally found my Spine. Even though he is gone I still feel guilty as I feel my son will hate me in years to come. Feel like I failed as I couldn't help him. Anyone else feel that way. I used to think of myself as weak for putting up with the **** I did but Ladies any of us who do this has to be STRONG. No one that is weak could tolerate being with an alcoholic