AXBF's way of living (chaotic), way of thinking (dysfunctional), and way of relating (aggressive) became the way I lived my life. In my own house. He would SAY one thing, which has been explained to me by his family as "what he thinks you want to hear), and then just go about his business doing whatever he damn well pleased. No matter what I said I wanted or needed or thought. They have their own motivations and yes, hidden agendas, and my thinking, motivations, and desires just do not match up to his. It's really difficult to live with people like this. People so mired in sickness that being around them makes you sick too. Scary part is, I did not have the boundaries or assertiveness to keep that sickness out. I simply fell into that old role of mine, caretaker. Silent, quiet, accommodating good girl doormat so confused and discombobulated from the chaos of the A I could see nothing else. Not even my self.