I think you need to stop talking to him and finally hear what he has said so far. Hear it - without analyzing it, without overthinking it, without getting emotional over it.
Just try to hear it as it was said to someone else. Than would you want to continue that conversation? Would you want to stick around any longer?
IMHO, you need to stop focusing on him, and start focusing on yourself. That is where all the answers are - inside of you, - you that is lost in the madness of someone else's alcoholism and craziness.
I believe the most harmful thing codies do is trying to fix and control everything and everyone but themselves.
You need to know that:
nothing changes if nothing changes (and that means you) and
you can't move forward unless you let go.
IMHO what you're doing right now is trying to rationally understand something that is not rational (by the way that is definition of absurd).
I wish you well