Originally Posted by
Kiana 
Much after the fact I realized so many things, and why marriage counseling with the abuser left me feeling more defeated, more hopeless, and even more voiceless. I did eventually find my voice.
Count me in on this too. MC backfired in my case too because my XAH was also an emotional and verbal abuser.... Who graduated to a physical abuser.
Contact my local DV shelter, at the urging of the wise folks on this board, saved my life. Without LaTeeda's and Anvilheads prodding... I would have had a hard time cracking my denial.
Things got better when I stopped talking to my XAH and started watching his actions instead.
BELIEVE what you see and feel... NOT what he says. He's manipulating you.