Hmm... in contrast to your husband, mine thinks that my efforts to start working and be active outside of the house is a great idea. He encourages me to get out and meet new people and practice my German language skills.
Over the years my husband has travelled a lot for work and we were often apart for several weeks at a time. There was no room for jealousy or insecurity in our relationship. So far that aspect has never been an issue for us. I wouldn't be able to live constantly under such clouds of suspicion.
He also refuses to consider AA, but has started to go to non-AA meetings at a local addiction center. AA is not the only program out there.
I have no advice, but I would not be able to stay in such a restrictive and oppressive relationship.