View Single Post
Old 08-01-2012, 06:40 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
lizatola
Member
 
lizatola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by lyssabee View Post
There is a lot of area between the status quo and "I'm leaving right now". I cannot say whether you should move out or not, but there are other ways to protect yourself, your sanity, your peace of mind, and your son. For example, if I remember correctly, your AH has had his license suspended. So, decide that you no longer will be a passenger in a car where the driver has no license. Period. Not your AH, but any driver. Then when he asks why you're not getting in the car, you can simply let him know that, and walk away.

For me, an important part of determining my boundaries was quantifying them, articulating them in words to myself, and deciding how I could effect change in my life and the lengths I would go to protect my boundaries. Don't make it about him, make it about you.

Regardless of what you decide, stick to it, especially if you say it to him. Good luck!
Yes, thank you. He is now on an ignition interlock license and will be for 18 months. He is not allowed to drive any other cars except ones equipped with the device. I don't have to worry about the driving thing anymore and can remove that boundary now.

Gettingby had some very good advice. I need to get my plan actually put in place before I pull out any stops. I'm still going to talk to him but, again, it's something I need to do for me. No ultimatums, though. I have a friend who has been in AA for 2 years now and she has convinced me that it won't go over well. Yeah, I know, you guys told me this too, but I guess I needed to hear it from a former alcoholic, LOL! Anyway, she and I were childhood friends and just recently reconnected on FB and she shared her challenges as an alcoholic and then she shared how wonderful her recovery has been. I was happy for her and wish that for my AH someday. But, he has to want it for himself.
lizatola is offline